Hoopla hoopla hoooooopla! Snout! Snout! Wiiiiiggieeeeeee!
Nice, intro there I reckon! How’s it goin’ ‘me trotter tribe? Disco pig be here spinning ‘d platterz what matterz! Well I have been spinning platterz coz Disco Pig get himself a cushy job down at Nando’s. Peri peri nice! I been workin’ and savin’ up for a sweet lookin’ scootae to impress ma sly sty friends. Dat’s ‘d ladies init! Dey be lovin’ a pig wiv wheels.
Anywayz, I been sniffin’ out some musical truffles for yoos. Bang ‘em on ya sound system…
Kevin Crackers and The Spreads – Both ways lead to Evesham
Shania Twine – Man! I feel like a cheese string
Rash Judges – Gavel burns
Tiny Fix – Leaky tap doing my nut in
They Could Be Midgets – Richard Roundtree stole my face but bought me flowers to make amends
Bad Trip – Sesame Street pinball shuffle(Ft. The number 7)
Spooky Fruit – OooooooooOOOoooooooooOOOoooooranges…
The Stoned Moses – G.E.A.R
Jif Marathon – Stupid global brand alignment
Jonny Trialer – Pop goes the Euro (vision)
Lexus Teaspoon Massacre – Got any two-stroke mister?
Bruno Saturn – When I was your Planet
The Barely Bare Bears – Quick Louise! The microwave’s on fire!
Thinking Lizards – Has Brenda found that pair of ornamental bees yet?
Backed a Wrong ‘un – Yes! Yes! Yes! Aw come ON!
Diggin’ da piggy! Diggin’ da piggy ! Diggin’ da piggy! SWINE-OVERLORD!
Ya, das right, it Disco pig comin’ atcha like a bag of Fruitella!
Me and ma pig-brudda’s be all tearing up da clubs fo sho and Disco pig, he been spinning da platterz wot matterz iniit? In fact, Disco Pig been spinnin’ other platterz coz he been doin’ Come Dine Wiv Me on the T of V. Last night, Disco Pig had Delroy Pearson from Five Star, Vicki Michelle from dat Allo, Allo and Leonard Fenton who is Mister Dr. Legg from da Eastenders. Disco Pig won wiv his Moroccan inspired Kefta and chips. Dat some tasty dish I laid on them muthas. Fenton was well gutted.
Anywayz, time for Disco Pig to give out me musical advice from his bass-bin of tail-twirlers. Dis gonna mess ya right up!
Ramm Jamm and Gran Spam – Feed it some liver and let it live
The Spellbound Toddlers – Bright colours
Fracking Marvelous – Spanklebracelet
The Budleigh Salterton Cruize Party – Bowling green tragedy
Bobby Halitosis – Huffing in ya hand
The Ocelot Bombers – Whispering tramp, proud at heart
They Might be Muffins – Cup cake mix up
Antimacassar – Greasy marks
Toast Float ft. Spanish Graham – Fold them before they crease (ee-zee iron remix)
Consuming the Boat – Even the oars
The Unhappy Camper – Loving in the stoat bunkers
Bum-Taps – Rear ended (by your huge love vehicle)
Incredible Nazi Goldfish – Fish tash and no lighthouse
Miss Kia-Ora – Seven year warranty
Potato Party Ft. PSY – Salty banquet
Whaaaaaaaatuuuuupp swifty piggggieeeeees! Yeah, it the X of Mas already and Disco pig, he be as happy about it as a pig in brandy butter.
The pig-crib is ram full of tinsel and ma bruvs, they be out singin’ Carols and grabbin’ some cash for it. Dem boys can hold a descant like swine angels!
So, Disco Pig gonna hit wrap you up with some cataclysmic hoof-thumpas to help ya festivities along. An’ stick a bow on it. Piggy style…
The Shoe Horns Ft. Barry Goblin – Smacking the stoat
Alzheimer’s Collective – Do they know it’s Christmas?
Swedish Salmon – Gravlax be thy name
Flute up the shoot – Acolyte gravy
Fat Man Beard – Pulling a Cracker
Neon Orange Tan – The Ballad of Lakeside
Mythical Maps – So here it is. Merry Christmas
Strangely Green Movement – Red wine before bed
The Presents Present Presidents – Daryl’s had all the best biscuits yet again
Derrick Hailstone and the Overwrought Working Party – Mighty are the whelk
Pointing out the Bleeding Obvious – So this is Christmas
Oliver Turkey Baste – Unusual Soup
Chaser Lights – Fuse Trippin’
Made Up Terms – Crowd Sourcing Ideas
Fire Hazard – Stockings by the Fire
Well… inspired. I’m sure Disco Pig will be back soon enough in the New Year. So that’s good I suppose.
Woop woop piggy swiiiiinnnnggg piggy piggy. Know dat. Yeah dat’s right, da pig is here, bangin on ya ears like a massive snowman of tuuuuuunes! What I mean bruv!
Disco pig, he been layin low for a coupla weeks. Da Solid Hog Crew, dey bin movin in on me patch and kickin up a whole heapa trouble wit ma bruvahs. I been planning a comeback of biblical size man! Gonna hit em wit some of my favourite snout bangers on da weekend. Dem bruvas not gonna know wat hit em! Turn up these tooooooons!
Ghastly Chocolate – Certain it’s carob
Judge in Session – Bang that gavel (to the beat of the drum)
Massive Tea Chest – You say it, I call it, he made it
A Guy Called Key – Show it you’re furious and it’ll back down
Faulty bricks – Kick it like a hamster
Distribution – Moving on out (of the depot)
The Mighty Q Pushers – I think you’ll find I was next
Bastion of Moss – The Kenilworth sessions
Last Chop in the Shop – Lookin’ Good (feeling jaded)
Base Model Vectra – Wind up windows and no alloys
The Kenneth Greasy Project– Ghosts in the windmill
Baritone Rising – Pie floater
Some People – Have no respect (tsk! remix)
The Shoddy Craftsman – Left my drill in the pub again
Sally Silly Sadly Society featuring Heidi-Holes – Chicken fillets
Historic Environments – Dusting the Burmese
Unsolicited Calls – Don’t hang up!
2pm Leaving the Cinema – I expected it to be dark outside
Peter Feet and the Convivial Jugglers – One up, two up, three up…. awwww
More top tunes and maybe a double leaning jowler from Disco Pig soon…
It appears Disco Pig has been away… here the man himself picks up the story…
Aiieee – what is da matter wiv dem five-os innit? Disco Pig ain’t been able to update his loyal ungulate followers cos he has been banged up in da slammer innit. On some trumped up charge innit. Dey say, da five-os dat is, dat yours truly was out smashin’ up ‘is hood and rioting an lootin an that when da weather was blazing hotter than blazing squad’s underpants over da weekend. Dey say I knicked two car stereo and dat washing machine innit from Curry’s flecking digical. Disco Pig were nowhere near da joint! Dem stereos were all legally purchased and that for ma sistas birfday. Sheet – Disco Pig ain’t talkin to da haters man – talk to da trotter cos da snout is on holidays, camping in Cornwall or sumfink…sheet
Anydeways er is da bossin, basin toons from my time in da slammer over de summa hear me know my little piglets of passion – get your ear toobes around this stonkers…sheet
DJ Vaseline feat MC Hardofhearing – Smooth it in easy rider
The Sheds of Bromley – Why won’t Rosemary come down from the roof (it’s going to rain)
Machine Gun Noises – Ack, ack, ack, shakka, shakka, ack, ack, ack
Trail of Snacks –Frazzle, Pork Pie, Wotsit, Wotsit
The Motherflumpers – Flump You, Motherflumper
Tinchy Temper – It takes a lot to get me cross, but when I go.. goodness me!
Gastric Band ft The Hulk – That’s three ripped shirts this week, I think you’re stressed
The Muggs – Are you mugging me off in the mug shop, mug?
The Otter Knees – Ha ha you fell off your BMX ha ha
Gum Rash feat. DJ Corsodyl – Can’t eat my vegetables can I go to Bicester now?
Trip to A&E – Caught my Jacobs on a slated bench
Banglebert Stumpydick – Euro, Euro, Euro, Bang, Bang, Bang (Part II)
Lawrence and his Arabian Machine – Blowfish sweat, blowfish die
Directions to the chemist – Turn right at the roundabout, just next to Budgens
The Acid Kings – Weeee are the National Westminster Bank Piggeeeess
DJ Chicksticks – If you don’t, you’ll regret it
Moterhome – The Ace of Shovels
Fishbender and the wonky fins – Amanda, the Findus Crispy Pancakes are too hot
MC Mitchell Brother – It’s Kelloggs Fruit and Fibre every day
Mmmm… well ,quite. More phat-tuned porcine piggery-jokery next time folks…..
Chang, chang, chang…badawhoop, badawhoop. Ayeiiie it me, Disco Da Friggin’ Pig back in da house to spin you some more of me bangin numbers, my little lean back bacon butties. Gloop, Gloop! What has de world famus Disco Pig been doin dis last week I hear you grunt? Well, woz no more my little mucky piglets cos I iz here to tell ya. Pin ’em back cos here it is.
Da Disco Pig’s sista, Nightclub Pig came round ma crib last week wiv her little porkers. Dey is da bomb, but still young and finding der trotters in dis difficult world of ours ya know? Anydeways, dey got out da connect four and we had a battle in front of Cash in de Attic on da tellybox. Dem young porkers stink at connecting fours and Disco Pig beat em up bad, real bad wiv a 3-1 win in a best of five…Hah Disco Pig is da boss hog! Chill time now bloods – here is ma selection of top toons from da music scene this week, so burn up a spliff and enjoy – chang, chang!
Gullible Seagulls – Would you stop rubbing it now, Nigel!
Barry Goblin feat. MC Toolkit – Takin’ my barnacle (back to the shop)
The Biscuit Twins – Kung Fu Hymen gonna get you
Twisted Aubergines – No, it’s a not a pear, clearly
Frumpledink Hunglebert – Blackbird’s heart going to break in two
Asthmatic Maths Teachers – Squeezing the chalk
The Secret Gypsys – Can’t find my horse, perhaps it’s gone to Oxford
Amorphous Whores – Money can’t buy you gloves
The Arctic Camcorders – Weasel, weasel, weasel, stoat, stoat, stoat
The Suppository Muffins – Ding Dong Squirrel (gonna ring ya bell)
Subordinate Lemons – Mashin up and mashin down, we are mashin all around
Asbestos Mice Ft. DJ Jacket Potato – Ships stop at the chip shop for chips, stop
The Scrotum Warriors – Went to the library and popped in to see my sister afterwards
The Cactus Moose – Hospital beds ain’t what they used to be
George Haemorrhoid – Push it, push it real good
Compulsive Tennis Nets – Can’t get you out of my shed
More hoof-tapping toons next week yer hear me now?
Hoot hoot your hoot, my porcine piggy pals coz I iz back-on da groove with sum more of me razzling, and ruffling ruffty tuffty toons. Aye, it me Disco Pig here to keep your farm as phat as a monkey at monsoon time innit. I az bin away for a bit ya knaw – just burning spliff and chillin wit me brevven in da sty. In fact it bin so chillin me gonna ring MTV and get meself on Cribs – natch they will be renaming it Sties in honour and respec’ to da Disco Pig innit!
Anydeways, dat is enough from me my huge porky scratchings – dis is my latest cullectishon of boss de-boss toons for ya listening pleasure. Get yer ear caverns around dis lot – solid!
Ivory Merchant – Blood is thicker than water, and so is custard
The Exhaust Pipes – Mamma’s gonna try for an injunction
DJ Fiveskin ft. Keith Harris – Asda roll back
Dinglevalve Shumperdank – Euro, Euro, Euro, bang, bang, bang
DJ MG Midget – Handbrake off! It’s Curry Night!
The Souffle Perverts – Soiled bedding is all crispy crème
The Foolish Dictionaries – Arthur’s moved to Hemel Hempstead
MC Torpid and the Slugglish Spoons – Crap ambulance don’t do bends
The Moist Kittens – Fudge, fudge, have you got a van of fudge?
Paul Handsome-Crab – Discharge and dat charge
My Bonnie – Lies over the ocean, unless he’s dead
Throbbing Gristle – Anguished ovens ain’t cooking my pork
Unwellmau5 – Lucozade has pepped me right up
Sack, Back and Quack – Do be do, do be do, be do dooo
The Spittle-heads – The boys are all in my yard, because I do make very nice milkshakes. Second to none!
The Itch Doctors – Rash on your inner thigh
More hoof-tapping toons next week yer hear me now?
Yo – what it is my little porcine porkers of love – oh yes, Disco pig is baaackkk wiv more of me hot toons to download right now. Hear what I say – I ain’t being rash (er) dese tracks have been rockin the sty this week and me and Mrs Disco Pig have worn our little trotters out viv all the dancin’ we been doing an dat. Screech them out loud my little truffle sniffers – they are de frazzles…
DJ Terryandjune feat. Anneka Rice – Have you put the cat out, Barry?….Barry? Oh I’ll do it
The Ladyhonkers – Squat and give me ten private
Kaiser Wilhem II – Pointy helmets
The Tea-towel holders feat. Noddy Holder – Congealed but still itchy
Supersonic prostitutes – Everything I do (I do for a tenner)
The Problematic Onions – Parsley is a garnish, bacon is a meat…
The husband embalmers – Appendicitis won’t go away
DJ Kumquat – Loving the horse, Steve, loving it
Barry Toadstool – Lick it until its September 13th
The Automatic Avacadoes – Na na na na na na na na na na na (every time you go upstairs)
Gary’s got Dandruff – And he smells of wolves
DJ Polly-styrene – I’ll be…(wrapped around your new electrical items)
The Fake Vicars – Tea time for Marjorie
Yo,what it is you disco- loving muthas. It’s me Disco Pig, back with the phattest tunes on da phat farm. Hear me now, dese toons are the drizzle my little headphone piglets so get on em while dey is hot to trotter. Can I get a snout out, rewind…come on my little pink players, get em downloaded…dey be the Frazzlest terrrr-acks out there innit….
DJ Budgens Ft. Annabel Croft – Scupper the boat
Suspicious Brownstar – The shed is still locked, George
Basic carrots – Arthur C Clarke
Westside of town Ft. Lionel Blair – Carpet Stains
Arthur C Clarke – Basic Carrots
Can you feel the heat? – Get off the radiator you odious man
DJ Cream T – Jammin on the bread product
Marrissey – Heaven knows I’m in love with bread products
Badsnake – Gone done and bit me on the ass
Findus Crispy Pancakes – Dark side of the pancake
Goobledooble Facemymother – Magnificent Oaks
Whackstain – Arthur loves trains. ok?
The Chlorine Sisters – Swimming Trunks, rock, swimming trunks roll
Fast Freddy and Barry Goblin – Tracks of my ears