Your emails

Monkeybroth envelope

Not Free Post. We’re not made of money.

Q) Dear Monkeybroth

Are you lonesome tonight?

Thankyouveramuch,

E. Presley (Deceased)

 

Monkeybroth says;

Dear Mr. Presley,

Actually, I’ve some friends around as my wife is having a Pampered Chef party in the front room. Us chaps are playing Kinectimals on the Xbox and drinking Peroni out in the orangery. You’re welcome to come and join us of course if you want cheering up?

Yours,

Monkeybroth

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Your emails

Monkeybroth envelope

Not Free Post. We’re not made of money.

Q) Dear Monkeybroth,

What time is love?

P.S. We luv Disco Pig! He’s the best pig/DJ in our opinion! Yay!

Yours Eternally,

The KLF

MonkeyBroth says;

Dear KLF,

The last we heard it was about 3am, but times are subject to change due to circumstances beyond our control. Stand by the Jams for further information.

Yours,

MoooonkeyBroth! A-ha, A-ha


Your emails

Monkeybroth envelope

Arrrr....hot like me? Don't cha baby!

Q) Dear Monkeybroth,

Don’t cha wish your boyfriend was freak like me?

PS Love the site

Best wishes,

The Pussycat Dolls

Monkeybroth says:

 Hello Dolls! Finally! We’ve been running Monkeybroth for a number of months now as our loyal follower will no doubt testify, and finally the Pussycat Dolls have been in touch. Great stuff.  All the staff here at Monkeybroth towers are massive fans of the Dolls or as Barry in Accounts calls them, The PCDs. We did laugh when we first heard that. Barry is a bit of a comedy genius and he’s wasted down there in Accounts. I don’t mean he should be on the stage or anything; he is literally wasted due to his many and varied addictions. The new party drug MFI is his latest fad. Him being off his razza all the time certainly does make for a fun working place, although I know Samantha gets a little fed up with all the vomiting. Still, all power to your elbow Barry. Great to have you on board.

All the best,

Monkeybroth


Your emails

Monkeybroth envelope

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Q) Dear Monkeybroth,

Do you really want to hurt me?

Mr. B George

Monkeybroth says:

Dear Mr. George,

Of course not! Monkeybroth is not cruel by nature you know! I realise that the lack of stuff on here in the last week could be disappointing, but there was no intention to cause hurt either physical or mental. We really hope you understand Mr. George. We really do.

Yours, always and forever,

Monkeybroth


Your email

Monkeybroth envelope

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Q) Dear Monkeybroth

Do you remember the time I knew a Girl from Mars?

Ash, UK

Monkeybroth says:

Hi Ash,

I think it rings a bell old chap. Was it during that party in Sibford Gower back in 1988? I remember you bumping into a very nice young lady who worked in confectionary. She tested Marathon bars for nut-consistency if I recall. Halcyon days…

Why not look her up on FaceBook or send an embarrassing shout-out to her on Steve Wright’s Sunday Love Show and subsequently find that she has married rather better than you hoped and was very happy. Never go back Ash. Never go back.


Your email…

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Your email…

Q) Dear Monkeybroth

Why does my heart…feel so bad?

Moby, USA

 Monkey Broth says:

Hi Mobes,

Sorry to hear that old son. How are your cholesterol levels looking? Well, not looking, that would be difficult obviously. To actually see cholesterol I mean. I am not even sure if you can feel cholesterol you certainly can’t hear cholesterol. Mmm… if you can’t see, hear or feel cholesterol it makes you wonder doesn’t it? I mean how do they know cholesterol exists if there isn’t any tangible sign of it. Oh X-rays and blood tests I suppose, yes, that makes sense.

Yours,

Monkeybroth