Q) Dear Monkeybroth
Are you lonesome tonight?
E. Presley (Deceased)
Dear Mr. Presley,
Actually, I’ve some friends around as my wife is having a Pampered Chef party in the front room. Us chaps are playing Kinectimals on the Xbox and drinking Peroni out in the orangery. You’re welcome to come and join us of course if you want cheering up?
Monkeybroth Public service announcements
Welcome to Monkeybroth’s public announcements service. Here at Monkeybroth towers, we take our public service responsibilities very seriously. We love, cherish and respect our communities… hang on we’ve already done this. Suffice to say, dear reader, the below public service announcements will help us all defeat globalism and the rising tide of imperialistic dogma which so blights our lives. Or something like that.
- Gold for Gold! Do you have large quantities of gold? Send it us today using our you-pay envelopes. Simply get an envelope, stick a stamp on it and stuff all your gold into it. Once it arrives we’ll eventually open it and look at it for a bit. Then we’ll send it back! What could be simpler? We all need extra gold these days so go for gold by visiting goldforgold.com. We are as good as gold!
- Blue suede shoes? Do you have a pair? Well, we’ll come round your house and step on them for you. Since 1987 we’ve been doing stuff that songs tell us we can’t do. Special offer this week – We will break your heart, we do know a lot about biology and we do know a lot about a science book. We will also leave you with this way, and naturally we do want you, baby! For a frankly ridiculous fee, we’ll come around to your house and do all this stuff! Visit doingstuffsongssaywecan’t.com today!
- Talking of Elvis, see public service announcement above, do you have any spare Elvis Presley’s in your house? We can come round and turn them into elves. How many times a day do you wish your spare Elvis Presley’s could be elves instead? We are betting it’s a lot of times. Don’t just sit there – turn your Elvis Presley’s into Elves today! (24 hour emergency call out fee applies). Visit elvistoelves.co.uk this very afternoon. You don’t need to have a suspicious mind about our service!