Disco Pig


Bass not bass.

Wooop. Wooop. Woooooop! WOOOOOOOOOP! Yeah it Disco Pig smahin’ your brain wit’ a sack load of bass. That’s low frequency sound not a fish.

Yeah, so last week Dicsco Pig he be DJ’in for his cuz – Hoedown Hog at his wedding. Wantage was bangin’ dat night with some hard hittin’ Kenny Rogers. Man, that guy is one sharp-bearded smooth silver-fox mutha.

Next morning, Disco Pig, it be his head that’s bangin’ coz he had waaaay too much Stella 4! Serious, I threw up a LOT of kee-bab.

Anywayz, check the dub on these tail-twirlers.

The Beagles – Welcome to the Hotel Best Western

Barry Goblin ft. Oily Mars – Slippery chocolate

The Remotes – Spin the batteries a bit and it’ll work

Flip Fasteners – Warren Beatty is in the eye of the beholder

Over-done Genre – Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! (and some more zombies)

Worst Ever Gymkhana (redruM mirror-mix) – Walk on you silly boy!

The Grinning Stoves – Heat up for sex (do not freeze once reheated)

Brake Well Tarts – Avoiding a prostitute

Spongy Beast – Oh please don’t climb the pergola Betty

The Racqueteers – Mega grunt

Jonny Space Queen – Seemingly impossible dustbin races

The Over Here Sisters – Don’t stop moving babies

Ox-O Lamb – Constant Gravy

Coffee and Creme – Under your mum (forever)

Poetry corner

Some goats are just a bit like that – by Hoff Bettersmudge

Well, it's clearly a goat

Billy’s rendition of Horace Vandergelder in Hello Dolly! was very well received…

It’s funny to think that long ago,
Goats were oft’ in Broadway shows,
It didn’t matter that far back,
Some goats are just a bit like that

They often hung around backstage,
After their latest sell-out play,
For drinks and nibbles and having the craic,
Some goats are just a bit like that

Often they would tread the boards,
To delight their most admiring hoards,
Until the stage lights fade to black,
Some goats are just a bit like that

Critics said debauched behaviour,
Was not something for one to savour,
Their fans stood up and answered back,
Some goats just aren’t a bit like that


Well, another post involving goats – how original. Next we’ll be mentioning a particular supermarket far too often or something… More poetry soon, no doubt.

El Resterant erección masiva

Come and eat at Biffordshire’s most popular Spanish / Venezuelan fusion restaurant!

Spanish doll

A family restaurant…

We cater for anyone from an angry distant aunt to your brother’s mate Tarquinii. Special rates for Monarchs and third division footballers. In house entertainment includes our very own Gastric Band who will serenade you with Yazoo’s greatest hits.



Deep fried frog on a log with a scraping of turnip shoe

Prawn surprise – not suitable for those with heart conditions as the prawns are very keen

Bloated Plutocrat on a deep-stuffed mattress


Plato principal

Baby mushrooms in a white trouser sauce with a flimsy of Smash™

Steak of Peter Frampton lightly gnashed with boiled ear oil (a real colon pleaser!)

Mmmmmmmm of Salmon served with a reconstructed turkey drummer and blast-radius salad

‘Oh come ON!’ toast with a thermal caribou pâté


Postre will be…

…making snarky comments from the corner of the room.


Please book early to avoid booking late. Or alternatively, book late to avoid booking early – whichever suits.