El Resterant erección masiva

Come and eat at Biffordshire’s most popular Spanish / Venezuelan fusion restaurant!

Spanish doll

A family restaurant…

We cater for anyone from an angry distant aunt to your brother’s mate Tarquinii. Special rates for Monarchs and third division footballers. In house entertainment includes our very own Gastric Band who will serenade you with Yazoo’s greatest hits.



Deep fried frog on a log with a scraping of turnip shoe

Prawn surprise – not suitable for those with heart conditions as the prawns are very keen

Bloated Plutocrat on a deep-stuffed mattress


Plato principal

Baby mushrooms in a white trouser sauce with a flimsy of Smash™

Steak of Peter Frampton lightly gnashed with boiled ear oil (a real colon pleaser!)

Mmmmmmmm of Salmon served with a reconstructed turkey drummer and blast-radius salad

‘Oh come ON!’ toast with a thermal caribou pâté


Postre will be…

…making snarky comments from the corner of the room.


Please book early to avoid booking late. Or alternatively, book late to avoid booking early – whichever suits.