Disco Pig – Glastonbury special

Brrrrdddrup brrrudpt! Yas, is da pig, coming at ya like a bag of nachos, but less cheesy init.

Pig at the gig

Pig at a gig

Well, this little piggy jus got back from Somersetshire where I’ve been totally at Glasto’. Me and my mate House Hog borrowed me nan’s Micra and razzed outta da city to get back to nature, although I did take da Nintendo with me. Yeah, we gone done the camping like da bosses. Although, HH did set fire to da tent we ‘borrowed’ from Millets with a stray blim, and we ain’t got a warranty.

It weren’t all peaches and RnB tho, as we wuz told that der’d be a lot of mud for wallowin’ in, but all we got was a dust bath and some sunburn, so wuz a bit of a scam.

Anyway, here’s sum of our top tunz performed at da festival;

SicklyB4dgr – Jumping the left shark

Cayenne East – Vocoder nightmare (where are you all going?)

CTRL-Alt-Delete – This cedar is ravenous

Spotless Highwayman – Relentless advert music

Mark Ronseal – Does exactly what it says on the sleeve

Florida Quivers – I’m just not partial to fisticuffs Nigel

Feral Wilikins – Cheerful (but tomorrow I may not be – I don’t know)

The Moo – Can we have our fields back, stoners?

Cyclebonce – The grace of maids

The Water Bottles – Telescopes offer you unrestricted lunar visuals


Well, more Disco Pig as soon as is most likely, which is possibly never given how long it’s been since the last one.

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Disco Pig

Pig in a hat
Jungle bellz…

Jingle da bells, jungle bellz, jingle da bellz. Stop. Swine-rewind!!!! Ya know it! It’s da pig coming at ya like a Lidl Stollen!

I bin getting the monies in ready fo Christmas coz I want to treat ma nan to a fierce foot spa dey got on special down at Boots. She totally worth it bruv!

Disco pig been working in one of those Christmas seasonal shops init. And man he be getting bored of Christmas songs on da shop stereo! Serious, if I hear Mariah Carey singin’ about what she want fo Christmas one more time, dere’ll be a crime. Nah, but serious, dere will…

Anyz, ‘ere’s da latest festive stampin’ tunez all wrapped up just fo youz.

 

Biff Clitchard – Time to buy a new calendar

Bradford Moped Group – Stop! Carry on.

Ashes Misery – I put five on it

Neonicotinoid Pesticides – Brian’s off to Lowestoft again

Megaquake – The thrill of cheese

Barry Goblin (ft. Frankie Ankles) – Shambolic log flume

Hemplegrunt Mupderspinch – Tra-la-la-la-la-faraldo-gadzooks-euro

Mincing Pies – Fabulously stuffed

Grumpy Dad – You can open them after dinner

High street Robbery – Seasonal price rise (saw ya comin’ reprise mix)

The Geordie Sores – Herod as a toad

Spatch! – No honestly Claire, I’ve always wanted a slanket. Lovely.

Unauthorised Entry – Stuck up your chimney


Disco pig – Halloween special

Pig-kin

Can’t breathe in dis thing!

Whoooooo…. WhoooOOOOooooo…. WhhhoooooooooOOOO! Nah, is not a ghost! Is me, Disco pig coming atcha like spooky pair a dungarees! Totally!

Disco pig, he loves Halloween coz he gets to do some of that Trick or Treatin’. Last year, some geezer on da posh estate, he bin tellin’ us that we not getting no treat, so we came back later and we treat us to his car keys! He be handin’ out da Haribo like a good boi dis year me think!

Disco pig also be playin’ up at the community centre lataz at the annual Monster Mosh, and here are some of da hauntin’ hoof hammerers me be playin!

 

The Decapitation Brothers – Don’t lose your head (down the back of the sofa)

Fright Train – Hell soulless sister

The Multifunctional Vampires – The JML bloodlust jamboree

The Clanking Chains – Comin’ off the sprocket

Day-Zee ft. Mad Fitt – Bryony, the Zombies are back again. I’ll tell them to try the Patterson’s next door

Schrilllllooricxxxx – Even monsters had mums once

Spectral Bookies – All bats are off

The Curse of Miss Malaprop – Prick or feet

The Jason Voorhees Ensemble – Why can’t I just meet a nice lady and settle down?

Pendulous – Calor gas night terrors

The Gangrenous Toads – Hubble double trouble

The Michael Jackson Puppetry Theatre – Thriller 2013 (strung-up mix)


Dishco Pig……..

Tulip DJ

No sterotyping here…

Hi folksh, yesh itsh David Vienetta, top Anglo Dutch DJ and all around the place good guy. With my blonde good looksh and muschcular frame I’m a hit on the danchefloor as well and not unincluding the ladiesh in that deshcription. You bet your asses on that one. Oh yesh.

Itsh great that Discho Pig hash given me the opportunity to big up my next DJ set. Uh huh oh yeah for shure I am looking forward very much to rocking it out at the Clunge Village Hall nextsh Tuesday afternoon. Apparently I am booked in to play for the Clunge’s Women Inshitute and for that I am totally shtoked! Itsh going to be a rocking afternoon oh yeah for shure. Anywaysh, Discho Pig saysh to me, David Vienetta, you gotta give my loyal readersh a taste of your shet for the gig! You may not know but I met Discho at a Rotterdam rave way back in the late 90sshhhh. He wash just a young piglet shtarting out in the buishness, but onsh he got his trottersh on the decksh I knew he wash a natural. Oh yeah for shure.

Anyway without further adosh, here ish my shet for Clunge. Itsh gonna ba a paaaaaarrrttttaaaaayyyyyy

 

Drool & The Gang – Just had an injection at the dentist

Indeep – Last Night A Dj waved at my wife

Bobby Brown Stain – Can you pass me the Vosene Gladys

Luther Dandruff – Never Too Much, unless I have enough already

Rufus And Chaka Can – Ain’t nobody, just a head in a glass jar

Camel-o – Lemon curd up!

De-houseboat – Rhythm Of The Kite (it flaps around in high winds)

Black Fox – Hide On Time (I’ll close my eyes and count to ten)

Rockwell – Somebody’s Washing Me but I’m allergic to soap

 Salt-N-Vinegar – Push It (starter motor is knackered)

 Rainmack & Rainmack – Raindrops look like my tears after I stubbed my toe

 Shalacar – A Ford Cortina to remember

The Whispers – What? You’ll have to speak up love, I’m a trifle deaf

S.A.S. Band – Gonna storm the embassy

Robert Kilometres – Children (don’t know they’re born these days)


Your emails

Monkeybroth envelope

Not Free Post. We’re not made of money.

Q) Dear Monkeybroth,

What time is love?

P.S. We luv Disco Pig! He’s the best pig/DJ in our opinion! Yay!

Yours Eternally,

The KLF

MonkeyBroth says;

Dear KLF,

The last we heard it was about 3am, but times are subject to change due to circumstances beyond our control. Stand by the Jams for further information.

Yours,

MoooonkeyBroth! A-ha, A-ha