Brrrrdddrup brrrudpt! Yas, is da pig, coming at ya like a bag of nachos, but less cheesy init.
Well, this little piggy jus got back from Somersetshire where I’ve been totally at Glasto’. Me and my mate House Hog borrowed me nan’s Micra and razzed outta da city to get back to nature, although I did take da Nintendo with me. Yeah, we gone done the camping like da bosses. Although, HH did set fire to da tent we ‘borrowed’ from Millets with a stray blim, and we ain’t got a warranty.
It weren’t all peaches and RnB tho, as we wuz told that der’d be a lot of mud for wallowin’ in, but all we got was a dust bath and some sunburn, so wuz a bit of a scam.
Anyway, here’s sum of our top tunz performed at da festival;
SicklyB4dgr – Jumping the left shark
Cayenne East – Vocoder nightmare (where are you all going?)
CTRL-Alt-Delete – This cedar is ravenous
Spotless Highwayman – Relentless advert music
Mark Ronseal – Does exactly what it says on the sleeve
Florida Quivers – I’m just not partial to fisticuffs Nigel
Feral Wilikins – Cheerful (but tomorrow I may not be – I don’t know)
The Moo – Can we have our fields back, stoners?
Cyclebonce – The grace of maids
The Water Bottles – Telescopes offer you unrestricted lunar visuals
Well, more Disco Pig as soon as is most likely, which is possibly never given how long it’s been since the last one.
Jingle da bells, jungle bellz, jingle da bellz. Stop. Swine-rewind!!!! Ya know it! It’s da pig coming at ya like a Lidl Stollen!
I bin getting the monies in ready fo Christmas coz I want to treat ma nan to a fierce foot spa dey got on special down at Boots. She totally worth it bruv!
Disco pig been working in one of those Christmas seasonal shops init. And man he be getting bored of Christmas songs on da shop stereo! Serious, if I hear Mariah Carey singin’ about what she want fo Christmas one more time, dere’ll be a crime. Nah, but serious, dere will…
Anyz, ‘ere’s da latest festive stampin’ tunez all wrapped up just fo youz.
Biff Clitchard – Time to buy a new calendar
Bradford Moped Group – Stop! Carry on.
Ashes Misery – I put five on it
Neonicotinoid Pesticides – Brian’s off to Lowestoft again
Megaquake – The thrill of cheese
Barry Goblin (ft. Frankie Ankles) – Shambolic log flume
Hemplegrunt Mupderspinch – Tra-la-la-la-la-faraldo-gadzooks-euro
Mincing Pies – Fabulously stuffed
Grumpy Dad – You can open them after dinner
High street Robbery – Seasonal price rise (saw ya comin’ reprise mix)
The Geordie Sores – Herod as a toad
Spatch! – No honestly Claire, I’ve always wanted a slanket. Lovely.
Unauthorised Entry – Stuck up your chimney
Whoooooo…. WhoooOOOOooooo…. WhhhoooooooooOOOO! Nah, is not a ghost! Is me, Disco pig coming atcha like spooky pair a dungarees! Totally!
Disco pig, he loves Halloween coz he gets to do some of that Trick or Treatin’. Last year, some geezer on da posh estate, he bin tellin’ us that we not getting no treat, so we came back later and we treat us to his car keys! He be handin’ out da Haribo like a good boi dis year me think!
Disco pig also be playin’ up at the community centre lataz at the annual Monster Mosh, and here are some of da hauntin’ hoof hammerers me be playin!
The Decapitation Brothers – Don’t lose your head (down the back of the sofa)
Fright Train – Hell soulless sister
The Multifunctional Vampires – The JML bloodlust jamboree
The Clanking Chains – Comin’ off the sprocket
Day-Zee ft. Mad Fitt – Bryony, the Zombies are back again. I’ll tell them to try the Patterson’s next door
Schrilllllooricxxxx – Even monsters had mums once
Spectral Bookies – All bats are off
The Curse of Miss Malaprop – Prick or feet
The Jason Voorhees Ensemble – Why can’t I just meet a nice lady and settle down?
Pendulous – Calor gas night terrors
The Gangrenous Toads – Hubble double trouble
The Michael Jackson Puppetry Theatre – Thriller 2013 (strung-up mix)
Hi folksh, yesh itsh David Vienetta, top Anglo Dutch DJ and all around the place good guy. With my blonde good looksh and muschcular frame I’m a hit on the danchefloor as well and not unincluding the ladiesh in that deshcription. You bet your asses on that one. Oh yesh.
Itsh great that Discho Pig hash given me the opportunity to big up my next DJ set. Uh huh oh yeah for shure I am looking forward very much to rocking it out at the Clunge Village Hall nextsh Tuesday afternoon. Apparently I am booked in to play for the Clunge’s Women Inshitute and for that I am totally shtoked! Itsh going to be a rocking afternoon oh yeah for shure. Anywaysh, Discho Pig saysh to me, David Vienetta, you gotta give my loyal readersh a taste of your shet for the gig! You may not know but I met Discho at a Rotterdam rave way back in the late 90sshhhh. He wash just a young piglet shtarting out in the buishness, but onsh he got his trottersh on the decksh I knew he wash a natural. Oh yeah for shure.
Anyway without further adosh, here ish my shet for Clunge. Itsh gonna ba a paaaaaarrrttttaaaaayyyyyy
Drool & The Gang – Just had an injection at the dentist
Indeep – Last Night A Dj waved at my wife
Bobby Brown Stain – Can you pass me the Vosene Gladys
Luther Dandruff – Never Too Much, unless I have enough already
Rufus And Chaka Can – Ain’t nobody, just a head in a glass jar
Camel-o – Lemon curd up!
De-houseboat – Rhythm Of The Kite (it flaps around in high winds)
Black Fox – Hide On Time (I’ll close my eyes and count to ten)
Rockwell – Somebody’s Washing Me but I’m allergic to soap
Salt-N-Vinegar – Push It (starter motor is knackered)
Rainmack & Rainmack – Raindrops look like my tears after I stubbed my toe
Shalacar – A Ford Cortina to remember
The Whispers – What? You’ll have to speak up love, I’m a trifle deaf
S.A.S. Band – Gonna storm the embassy
Robert Kilometres – Children (don’t know they’re born these days)
Q) Dear Monkeybroth,
What time is love?
P.S. We luv Disco Pig! He’s the best pig/DJ in our opinion! Yay!
The last we heard it was about 3am, but times are subject to change due to circumstances beyond our control. Stand by the Jams for further information.
MoooonkeyBroth! A-ha, A-ha