Further adventures of the time travelling dishwasher tablets…
Posted: 13/03/2012 Filed under: Time travelling dishwasher tablets! | Tags: dishwashers, Finish, Leap, Quantam, tablets, Ziggy Leave a commentTime-travelling dishwasher tablets!
FINISH QUANTAM POWERBALL DISWASHER TABLETS: “Okay Al – let’s have the details, where have we leapt to this week?”
AL: “Well, Finish Quantum Powerball Dishwasher Tablets, according to Ziggy we’ve landed in 1863, June 29thin fact. That’s about 48 hours before the Battle of Gettysburg”
Washing dishes in time and space
FINISH QUANTAM POWERBALL DISHWASHER TABLETS: “Okay – can you ask Ziggy why we are here… are there any dishwashers in 1863 for instance?”
AL: “Let me just check………okay, so Ziggy were there any dishwashers used during the American Civil War conflict? ………according to Ziggy………no, no there wasn’t.”
FINISH QUANTAM POWERBALL DISHWASHER TABLETS: “Well, then, erm… I guess we need to leap somewhere else.”
AL: “Yes”
More time-travelling machine based detergent in tablet form fun next week, folks!
Thought for the week, with the very Rev Archbishop of Toad-in-the-Wold
Posted: 13/03/2012 Filed under: Thought for the week | Tags: cube, rubik, thoughts Leave a commentThought of the week
With the extremely and hugely reverend Archbishop of Toad-in-the-Wold, Dr Robert Carolgees…
“As I sit here gazing over my parish from the converted attic I call my office, I find myself thinking more and more about life and about the church’s ever decreasing influence on this modern world of ours.
A beacon of puzzelment
Life moves at breakneck speed these days. Only last week one of the poor of the parish came to me in his rags and with his cap screwed tight over his blonde curls to share with me his latest toy. It was, to the untrained eye, a mere coloured plastic cube, although each side of the cube was a mixed up myriad of colours. No one side of the cube was the same colour. The young greasy scamp handed me the cube and challenged me to rearrange it so that each side of it became one colour.
Perplexed, I took the cube from him and repaired to the diocesan house which my status grants me and sat in my chair for almost the whole day bashing and twisting away at the plastic cube in front of me. After many frustrating hours a beam of bright light suddenly streamed through the windows, bathing the cube in its warm ethereal light. I do believe the Lord spoke to me at that very moment – my instructions were clear. I fetched a warm wet cloth from the kitchen and slowly but carefully peeled off the coloured stickers from the cube which only minutes earlier had caused me such a knotty conundrum. Carefully peeling them away I reapplied them to the sides of the cube to make each side the same, uniform colour.
What would have taken me days, was simply, and without fuss, achieved in a matter of minutes. The Lord he doth verilly move in mysterious ways.”
Tune in for more miraculous tales from Dr Carolgees next week!
Rockstars in the morning…
Posted: 13/03/2012 Filed under: Rockstars in the morning... | Tags: music, rock Leave a commentNo1: Billy Idol
ROCKSTAR BILLY IDOL’S MUM: Rockstar Billy Idol! ….Rockstar Billy Idol!….. Its 8.15, you’ll be late for school. Are you getting up?
ROCKSTAR BILLY IDOL: “No”
Next week more morning related shenanigans with music stars from across the globe!
The Charts with Disco Pig
Posted: 13/03/2012 Filed under: Disco Pig | Tags: charts, countdown, disco, discos, music, records, top 40 Leave a comment
What it is brothers...
Yo,what it is you disco- loving muthas. It’s me Disco Pig, back with the phattest tunes on da phat farm. Hear me now, dese toons are the drizzle my little headphone piglets so get on em while dey is hot to trotter. Can I get a snout out, rewind…come on my little pink players, get em downloaded…dey be the Frazzlest terrrr-acks out there innit….
DJ Budgens Ft. Annabel Croft – Scupper the boat
Suspicious Brownstar – The shed is still locked, George
Basic carrots – Arthur C Clarke
Westside of town Ft. Lionel Blair – Carpet Stains
Arthur C Clarke – Basic Carrots
Can you feel the heat? – Get off the radiator you odious man
DJ Cream T – Jammin on the bread product
Marrissey – Heaven knows I’m in love with bread products
Badsnake – Gone done and bit me on the ass
Findus Crispy Pancakes – Dark side of the pancake
Goobledooble Facemymother – Magnificent Oaks
Whackstain – Arthur loves trains. ok?
The Chlorine Sisters – Swimming Trunks, rock, swimming trunks roll
Fast Freddy and Barry Goblin – Tracks of my ears
What ever happened to – The Microsoft help paperclip?
Posted: 13/03/2012 Filed under: Where are they now? | Tags: clip, Geller, kettle, microsoft, office, paper, staples Leave a commentRemember the little tyke that used to pop up while you were writing a letter and proclaim ‘Hey! It looks like you’re writing a letter!’? If you do, then you’re probably wondering right now where he’s spending his days. After all, he was probably a big part of you missive-typing life back in ’97. By gosh, he knew when to help you start doing something that you had already started doing.
We tracked Clint the clip down to his recently opened R&D company – We research and develop things PLC – and discussed his life, his lows and his triumphs.
Monkey Broth – ‘So Clint, you left our monitors without really saying goodbye. What happened?’
Clint – ‘Hey! It looks like you’re interviewing a fictional character! Well, MB. The split between Bill Gates and me was a shock. One day we just chatting away over a cup of Horlicks, and I made a nice comment about the fact that he appeared to be wearing trousers. Frankly he just snapped. I mean he was really angry. That was that really. I was out on my rounded metallic bit by the afternoon.’
MB – ‘After that, you made a living resetting electrical devices and opening stuck CDROM drives for money is that right?’
C – ‘Hey! It looks like you’re asking me about the wilderness years! Yeah, times were rough. Staples were cornering the market really and there wasn’t much interest in a celebrity paper securing device. You get by where you can and those weird little reset switches built into electrical stuff were a life-line. I was bent out of shape for years though.’
MB –‘Harsh. But you straightened yourself out in the end? DON’T DO IT!!’
C – ‘Hey! It looks like…. Sorry, old habits and all that… I spotted a gap in the market for artificial intelligent household items and started We research and develop things PLC about 3 years ago. Obvious really. We’ve worked for some of the big brands including Office World and their self aware laminators and Ravensburger for a series of puzzles that tell you when you’ve put them back in the box.’
MB – ‘Yes, I had one of those. Didn’t really add to the puzzle experience much.’
Morphy Richards goes AI
B – ‘Never said it would.’
MB – ‘So what’s next for the clip?’
C –‘Well, I’ve we’ve got a contract with Morphy Richards and their kitchen range But I can’t tell you more. There will be a bit of me in it though. You’ll just have to wait and see!’
MB – ‘Thanks Clint, you’re an inspiration to your kind.’
C – ‘Hey! It looks like you’re giving me a compliment!’
MB –‘Careful. I know Uri Geller…’
Just getting started…
Posted: 03/02/2012 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentGive us a chance to set things up and we’ll provide some material that’ll help wile your life away without learning anything useful. And that is a promise. Just possibly.
monkeybroth 