Monkeybroth Public Service Announcements!

Monkeybroth Public Services Announcements

‘I don’t know who you are but you’re a read dead ringer for love, a real dead ringer for love’. So sang popular and hugely rotund front man Meat Loaf. And by the power of Greyskull he was right you know. Here at Monkeybroth Towers we take our public service commitments extremely seriously. We don’t know you from Adam, unless you are called Adam and we know you, but even then we don’t even know you. You could be anybody coming on our website and leaving it all messy and sticky with your views. Our point is we don’t know who you are but there is one thing we are sure of – you are a dead ringer for love in our eyes. Even you, Barry Frecklesack from Lowestoft!

• Like a flutter? Enjoy the comforting warmth of a decent pair of slippers? We bet you do! Now you can combine your gambling and footwear passions with Bet Slippers. With Bet Slippers, you’ll never be short of a good tip or a good pair of slippers!  Bet Slippers come with a choice of delightful linings, from soft and bouncy fleece to more demanding marbles – if you like to be kept on your toes and are perhaps not so much a fan of comfortable slippers preferring them to be hard and a difficult item to wear. You pays your money you take your choice of slipper lining. No matter, because with Bet Slippers you’ll soon be wallowing ankle deep in ill-earned cash direct from the bookmakers! Interested? It’s odds on you are! Bet Slippers are 87 per cent accurate predictors of interesting sporting event results, but please consult your doctor before engaging in any heavy lifting or implementing a change in your exercise regime. Visit www.betslipperswinmeadream.com  and choose your lining Mister. Today is the last day of the weekend when your cash dreams will come true!

• In 1947 the average size of a man’s ears was six inches long and three inches across. In 2012, that average size has shrunk to a shocking four inches in length and just two inches across. Please help us reverse this trend by making a donation today. There are many reasons why men’s ears have been shrivelling up like a mouse with rigor mortis over the decades; over-fishing, global warming and human predation are just three. The destruction of the Amazonian rain forests is another reason as is the fact that ears have just gotten smaller somehow. This isn’t some distant, third world problem – it’s affecting all ears everywhere, even perhaps on your head or on a head very much like it near you or not that near at all. Together we can do so much to enlarge men’s ears. Give us the chance to help men like Arthur Tidyhorse from Binkley whose own ears have shrunk by up to 30 per cent in the last decade alone. Arthur reports erectile difficulties and says his marriage has been hit by his ever decreasing ear size. Last week, Arthur lost his job and his driving licence – all because of his laughably small ears. You, yes you, could be next. So please, help Arthur and others like him by donating here today. www.bfgtakingthepiss.com.    Thank you…. 

• Would you like to swing on a star? Perhaps you’ve always wanted to carry home moonbeams in a jar? Well now you can thanks to Pocket Planetarium. Brought to you from the makers of Flip-Flop Aquarium, your dreams of owning your own pocket-sized planetarium are just beginning. To get things started visit our website below and choose which stars, galaxies and horse-shoe style nebulae you would like in your pocket, or pockets. All that glitters in the firmament will be yours to own and house in your very own pockets! Impress your friends and neighbours by having lots of stars and other heavenly things right there in your very own trousers! Visit www.planetpants.org.uk  to start your celestial dreams today – they are not a million miles away you know (in fact we’re in Bedford).