Welcome to Monkeybroth’s public announcements service. Here at Monkeybroth towers, we take our public service responsibilities very seriously. We love, cherish and respect our communities. We want to hug them and squeeze them dry. We want to leave them dried up and properly spent. No more juice in them at all because we would have squeezed every drop out of them. Because we love them so much. That’s why we squeeze them. Hard.
- Have you got tired and tatty buckets just lying around your house, doing nothing like a bunch of drippy, wispy-bearded, spitty little fag smoking hormone- pumped teenagers? Perhaps you have some much loved buckets which have seen better days under the kitchen cupboard, just crying out for some much needed TLBC – that’s tender, loving, bucket care in our book! Well, fret no longer. We will sporadically come around your house and breathe new life into your buckets using our special carbon life form based bucket glue. Totally toxic and harmful to pets, it will spruce up your buckets proper style. No more embarrassing grotty buckets for you, oh no! Visit bucketsnotgrimynomore.com yesterday!
- How often do you wish you could turn your cherished family memories into spoons? Wish no longer – Memory Spoons has got a (spoon) handle on it for you! It doesn’t matter what your memory is, we can spoon it for you – bar mitzvahs, birthdays, family circumcisions whatever the occasion. Why not turn that time Uncle Colin fell into the canal into a spoon? Perhaps your mum’s hysterectomy would look good in a carelessly designed and created dessert spoon format? Nothing says ‘sorry to hear for your loss’ more than turning cherished funeral memories into a spoon and sending it to the grieving parties involved. This week only… ladles! Big chunky ladles full of your memories. Yes. Visit memoryspoonsarethefuture.com today and we’ll do the rest. Memory Spoons – we’ll do your remembering for you by putting it in memory spoon format, so remember us today. Don’t forget to remember us!
- Rock and indeed Roll – turn your family pets into members of 80s rockers ZZ Top with our new food supplement. Simply add our special ‘ZZ Top Up’ sauce to your pet’s food and hey presto, overnight your pet will turn, miraculously, into smaller but just as furry, members of ZZ Top! Your pet will be giving YOU all the lovin’, with ZZ Top Up. Don’t let your neighbours be the talk of the cul-de-sac with their Hawkind llamas or Iron Maiden goldfish – they are rubbish! ZZ Top your pets today and relax, this idea has legs! Visit yesmypetsareboringpleaseturnthemintozztoptoday.com for more details. You’ll regret it!