Monkeybroth’s public service announcements

Welcome to Monkeybroth’s public announcements service. Here at Monkeybroth Towers we take our public duties extremely seriously. We love, cherish and respect our communities – even that old cow at number 78, who smells a little like wolf wee. You know the one – she comes out at night and shakes the bushes looking for robotic squirrels. Yeah you do, you’ve seen her. She was in Budgens on Tuesday buying Ribena for her pet corn snake…..

• New service for both Monkeybroth subscribers! – Cheery builders’ wolf whistles – are you a lonely lady? Don’t get much attention these days? We’ll come round your house and wolf whistle at you. No hard hat – no wolf whistle, lady. Visit shinybuildershelmetswilleasethepain.com for details!
• Too many rugs? Not enough rugs? Just the right amount of rugs? Visit rugamuffin.com today for a great deal on rug removal, rug provision or an appreciation of the fact that you have just enough rugs. We won’t be beaten on price, but our rugs will be!
• Did you know that since 1924 the pickled gherkin population of the UK has grown by more than 40 per cent? We all love seeing pickled gherkins in our garden, but for some they are a pest – turning over bins, weeing in alleyways and forcing public schoolboys to enter conker contests against their will. We can rid you of your problematic pickled gherkins for ever! Visit gherkinbegone.com for more details. You’ll be pickled pink you did!
• Have you used wolves too much in a stupid online blog that nobody reads? Have you used it twice already in a new crappy post about fake public service announcements? We can help with that – in fact we’ve removed wolf references in a number of these so called amusing online blogs already this week – George? George? How many was it?… no I am just writing our announcement for that Monkeybroth thing…..two? you see? We’ve done it twice already this week. Visit nomorewolvesinblogsforchristssake.com today!