Monkeybroth classifieds

Special liveried Fiat Brava SX for sale – going cheep
Fully serviced by Anne Diamond from new. Recent cambelt change carried out by HSBC and professionally valeted by Frankie Boyle (quite a poor job in all honesty). Can be seen in mirrors and through contact lenses etc. Has been professionally painted to look like a sparrow. Genuine reason for sale – I have a pathological fear of sparrows. And Fiats.
Please, please call spaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrppppppppp as soon as possible. It’s looking at me all funny.

For sale or WHY? – Ship and window frame
Full sized 3 mast Clipper and UPVC bathroom window for immediate delivery! Boat can be positioned a long way from window to give a splendid nautical view or positioned closer for more detailed viewing. Window also works with other items placed at strategic distances to give the illusion of depth. Bring 3D to your home without the aid of those unwieldy TVs.
Contact me by flag semaphore or email brian@galleondoubleglazing.net

Goats resolutely not for sale!
Honestly, what do I have to do to stop you guys pestering me for pedigree Bionda dell’Adamello goats? I haven’t any goats at the lowest prices around. My goats (that I do not have) are not on 2 for 1 special offer and are certainly not the best kept goats in Biffordshire. NO GOATS! Geddit? I cannot relieve you of your money for that goat that you’ve always promised yourself.
DO NOT CONTACT ME by my email. Which is goodnessihavenogoats@budgie.com