End of the world Headphones
I’ve got a pair of P.M. Dawn branded headphones for sale. These are the noise cancelling model but unfortunately, the noise cancelling function has developed a fault which means that they cancel their own noise out. This causes an audio paradox that threatens the fabric of space and time. May be fixable.
Free to a collector – call Derrick Shambles on Skunchton 687451
Great condition with only slight cosmetic damage. Terrified of water but can be used for inflating very small hot air balloons. Alopecia forces reluctant sale.
£12 ono – email me on firstname.lastname@example.org
In only lightly foxed condition, this fox has a lovely face, can erect a marquee in only 15 seconds and has been taught proper table manners – none of that elbows on the table tat you get with lesser foxes. Due to reduced circumstances, I am unable to finish this fox but he only needs a few skills to make him the full package. First to see will buy!
Phone or Fox Sandra Spandex – Cleft 454547
Outrageously small molluscs
Due to civic unrest, I have a warehouse full to the doorstop in outrageously small molluscs for knock-down prices! ‘How small?’ I hear you ask! They are even more outrageously small than my sale on incredulously miniscule Italian grandmothers last week. Yes, they really are that outrageously small! Discount for bulk purchases over 35 grams.
Call Fred MacAspoon – Baffle 110010
By Arbuthnot Turbo
Bees, Bees, Bees
Are quite blind did you know?
I do experiments on them see, put them all in a row
I’ve made a little sign out of wood and chalk, didn’t cost much money
In tiny writing I’ve scrawled ‘Over here if you want free honey’
I then asked them to move that way if they were able
But not one bee, not one! responded
In hindsight, perhaps I shouldn’t have nailed them all to the table
My life is a rollercoaster
By Sue Pernoodle
Foxes, Foxes, Foxes
Foxes, Foxes, Foxes, Foxes, Foxes, Foxes
My life is a rollercoaster,
Foxes, Foxes, Foxes