Yet more poetry. In a corner

Bertie McNulty

by Hewlett Packard

Gosh Bertie McNulty is such a wheeze,

He’s great with the ladies and at climbing trees,

He always wears lovely trousers and a nice shirt,

His hair is quite brown and his buttocks are pert,

He’s great on the dancefloor and is quite the wild rover,

He can drink lots of lager without falling over,

He’s super at football and cricket I’ve heard too,

Last week he smashed an unbeaten 102,

He can grow a moustache in an afternoon,

Holidays in the south of France for the whole of June,

Oh Bertie McNulty those ladies don’t stand a chance,

You melt their hearts with just one glance,

Oh he’s really good at board games as well like Kerplunk,

In Australia they would say ‘crikey, what a spunk’

He’s happy to lend me whatever I want,

He’s better at maths than Norman Lamont,

He’s terribly nice to his mum I’ve been told,

Never says she’s wrinkly or is looking too old,

He’s so good with the ladies with all his chatter,

Think it’s his muscles and flirty patter,

Oh Bertie those ladies, their hearts will never mend,

You really are the bestest ever imaginary friend.