Poetry corner

The Crisp Shirt – by Tracey Ultimatum

A lickle doggy... ahhh...

Perhaps just a little smaller?

Poor Kevin, poor Kevin,
Oh are you a fool?
Did kids tease your beard,
When you went to school?

You used to look neat,
But now somewhat dishevelled,
Your scary wife beats you,
With chicken that’s devilled.

Shirts once crisp,
Enough for the army,
If you had a lisp,
You’d sound far less smarmy.

You need a pet,
But give it some thought,
Don’t buy a big one,
It makes you look short.

Kevin please your little quips,
Far away from being fantastic,
Look at me and read my lips,
Are always tediously sarcastic.