Poetry corner

Sugared Kestrels

by Bertram R Crumpet

I think I’m in love with Bill Oddie,

It’s not his beard or sinewy body

No, it’s not either of those as nice as they are

It’s not his Ford Escort although that is a nice car

What I love about Bill Oddie

Is the way he chortles and chirrups

Every time he pours out the syrup

So glad is he of the sugary snack

You’d think it was a lump of crack

Ah Bill Oddie and your sweet-toothed habit

He’s not a fan of a weasel or a rabbit

No it’s birds that he has on his brain

An owl, an ostrich or maybe a crane

Perhaps on a robin he should pour

Some syrup or sugar – more and more

His recipe is bound to be a hit….

Sugared kestrels and a caramelised tit

4 Comments on “Poetry corner”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Ooh I love Bill Oddie s sugared tits
    But it’s Bellamy s bits I dream of
    As I pour my maple wit
    Aj of hassocks

    • dolphinbladder says:

      It’s the beard though isn’t it.. all scratchy and yet somehow and in a strange way alluring and attractive. Manly but also caring and a place for kittens to hole up for the winter. Stay strong AJ stay strong :0

      • Anonymous says:

        …and the little bits of cheese,
        hidden in his fronds,
        When cheese less fridge
        stares …
        empty back
        I know the beard will stem my lack…
        One love!

        Taken from the poem ‘A cupboard of beard’

  2. dolphinbladder says:

    Cupboard of beard is a classic. Loved it since we studied it for A-level. If there’s a finer piece of prose than ‘and the little bits of cheese hidden in his fronds, when cheese less fridge stares empty back’ then Monkeybroth is yet to hear it. Damn straight….

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