MonkeyBroth Service announcements

MonkeyBroth is determined to give you, dear, dear reader, the most up-to-date announcements that are possible within the rules of time and space.

In fact, so keen are we that you are incredibly well-informed, we tried building a time machine so that we could acquire the announcements before they were conceived. Unfortunately, we quickly realised that building a time machine was a bit more difficult than we thought. Silly really, if it was that easy, someone would have done it already I suppose. Anyway, we’ve decided that we’ll stick to Meryl in the canteen who researches using Innovations magazine. Good enough really…

 

Me-cankers – New from MonkeyBroth kids! Conkers for the 21st century – it’s mechanical in some way! Me-cankers is the fun electronic game for all the family. Just string your ‘canker’ onto some electrical wire for hours of ball-bashing hilarity! The object of the game is simple; the first player to have their ball smashed by their opponent loses and has to live out their days knowing that they are inferior to the other player in at least one respect. Me-cankers – the new name in kids entertainment (Disclaimer: Some children may ultimately find this quite dull).

Stop this sort of thing! Apply today!

MonkeyBroth is recruiting! We need someone to come around and blow all of the dust and old food matter from our hard-worked keyboards. If you have the hunger to learn and to get on in life, you could be the person that we’re looking for! The successful candidate will have a City & Guilds Hygiene Level 1 certificate, a diploma in Mechanical engineering and a can of surprisingly expensive compressed air. A Degree in Biological Chemistry is preferred but not essential. Send your CV and something nice (Muffins always go down well) to; MonkeyBroth Towers, Pigeon Street, Cum-Wisely, Biffordshire, CW8 78X. Applications Close 11 November 2012 (or sooner if we manage to extract that piece of melted cheddar that’s jamming my space bar).

The ultimate in fridge cleanliness.

Have you ever noticed that your fridge gets all crusty where you put the milk in it? If so, Milky Milky Go Away can help. Just ring our free-phone number, and a qualified Milky Milky Go Away crust removal engineer will be with you within weeks. That’s right, no more wondering just what unpleasant life forms are building their own evil civilisation within the detritus of your fridge-skank. Milky Milky Go Away has been a member of the Lactose Scud Removal Society since 1912. Call now for a quote or even just a chat – we’re quite quiet at the moment. 0898 MILKYAWAY

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