Monkeybroth classifieds

Garden hose for sale – Genuine reason for sale

Hoza-full-brand garden hose in good condition. Has been a faithful companion but time moves on. Allergy forces sale. May part exchange for hamster or equivalent plumbing tools.

email twistedinabigknot@lawn.bees


Practical Cured Meats magazine – issues 50-96

My beloved collection (all carefully splash-covered). Includes the infamous Antony Worrall Thompson anti-chorizo rant in issue 54. Collectors item would suit cured meat enthusiast or recovering vegetarian.

contact biltongisafunnywordisntit@kleftico.not


For sale – skateboarding ants

I have been training ants to do a Wallplant for 20 years. Last week it finally happened (and they caught some ‘Japan Air’ also) so I have no more interest. Comes with a totally ‘rad’ ant farm and tiny skateboards. Everything you need to get started.

Get in touch on antscangrindtooyouknow@trucks.rad


Monkeybroth classifieds

For sale – Grand Piano

Nearly new finished in tiger-stripe vinyl. Would suit travelling salesman or similar. Children force reluctant sale. Comes with free carry handle and a singing mollusc hiding under the keys.

email for full details –

!!!!@LOOK@!!!! Rare Kenwood mixer!!!!!

One of 34,000,000 made. Has modified blades made from moon rock. Only used for grinding up spoons twice. Unique opportunity. First to see will be shy.

email shartheart@mydayz.gah for abuse.

Really long Ford Granada estate in jet black

50,000 miles only 4th and 5th gear never used. Very shiny with a huge custom flat rear load bay. Never raced or rallied! Perfect family car.

Contact willisgrahamandson@death.crem

Free to a good home

Some spaghetti that I cooked last night but did too much. Rather than waste the excess, do you want it? Can post for a small fee (mainland only please). No canvassers or resellers please.

email leftoverstonight@spinyfish.bah